A lot of couples have tried to decipher why marriage is not as electrifying as the period of courtship or “Boyfriend-Girlfriend era” and they fight all through their marriage life trying to bring back the magic once felt.
What most miss is that, marriage is a purposeful decision, while, the courtship period is more purposeless, since a lot is done spontaneously. You go for dinner the same day you plan it, unlike marriage where couple needs to plan a nanny to be with the kids, or go on a day both are free to leave work early. It takes more planning to get the magic going.
Courtship is majorly about two people, no need for parents consents or expectations, no responsibility per say. Both are living independently to commit to a relationship. But marriage is more about to people who are responsible to act in a certain way and live certain lives and that is how the death starts.
According to Suntra and Tantra, the Hindu meditation techniques, the reason two lovers get married is to extend the magic they felt during courtship forever. But purpose creeps into the moments and takes over. It says, it is harder to orgasm in marriage unlike during a courtship, because the mind wanders a lot on the loads of responsibilities during sex.
Especially for women, they think about cooking, cleaning, time, the kids and a lot and unable to concentrate during sex and according to medical research, it takes 98% concentration for a woman to orgasm during sex.
So, it is a lost battle trying to fight the inevitable. It is better to admit that taking up marriage is more a call to be responsible than spontaneous love and magical moments with lover. But there is an escape, that is why married couples are often advised to take a break from their responsibilities to spark up the magic. So that their mind knows they have enough time to relax from daily stereotypical duties and enjoy moments with their partner.
