Female gender in the society has lived so long on being told what to do and what not to do and the norms, laws and ethics does more than penalize offenders, it goes as far as gender internalizing all the factors involved. A popular saying states that “We can’t eat our cake and have it” If the same society that claims female promiscuity is on the high side is also the one clamouring for the stop of female gender mutilation, then, there is a motif in play.
According to DHS 2008, only 11.2 percent of women are concerned about female gender mutilation compared to 17.3 percent of men. The research went ahead to outline the benefits of female gender mutilation as preserving virginity and preventing pre-marital sex and more sexual pleasure for the man. The most appealing part of the research is that women tend to only succumb to this practice because it grants them societal acceptance and this is because our sexual views differ per gender.
| Differences in Sexuality | ||
| Men | Women | |
| Orientation | Physical Compartmentalized Physical oneness Variety Sex is high priority |
Relational Wholistic Emotional oneness Security Other priorities may be higher |
| Stimulation | Sight Smell Body centered |
Touch Attitudes Actions Words Person-centered |
| Needs | Respect Admiration Physically needed Not to be put down |
Understanding Love Emotionally needed Time |
| Sexual Response | Acyclical Quick excitement Initiates (usually) Difficult to distract |
Cyclical Slow excitement Responder (usually) Easily distracted |
| Orgasm | Propagation of species Shorter more intense Physically oriented Orgasm usually needed for satisfaction |
Propagation of oneness Longer, more in depth Emotionally-oriented Satisfaction often possible without orgasm |
Family Life 2003
Record has it that, even till the 90’s women born in the South-western part of Nigeria has all been mutilated at birth or after. Does that mean these women, in a large percentage does not enjoy sex? My gut says no, because if it were so, the society will not have been a part of it in the first place.
Mutilation or not, a woman’s first priority is never sex, that is a man’s desire often times. Women have bigger problems and men hiding behind little factors like this is covering up their own shady dealings that needs to be corrected. Promiscuity will be reduced if fathers can assume their place to train female children, it will reduce if they are not demeaned based on their gender for seeking power, or if men can not feel they have a sense of strength from accumulating women in numbers because of material or financial leverages.
“Ideologies claiming that women should be pure and chaste can lead to female genital mutilation, honour killings, and restrictions on women’s mobility and economic or political participation. Ideas that men should be macho can mean that sexual violence is expected and not condemned. In many places, to be considered a ‘proper man’ or ‘proper woman’, you need to act one hundred per cent heterosexual, and stay in line with gender stereotypes.” (Ikkaracan and Jolly 2007: 3)
We therefore, need the society to fight for us over norms,ethics and laws that tend to drown us before we were born and not fight to keep or not keep their sexual desires around us. God bless Nigeria!
